thoughts

Out on Reconnaissance

I turned in on Váci utca and the first thing I thought was:

-I would like to walk here just now with my mother.

… feeling how very much I really would like it … I’m sure she would too. Maybe she walked along my side. In another kind of world. Some kind of world where all the spirits exist. Spirits like ‘minds of senses’ or ‘senses of minds’ or perhaps ‘minds before – now after’ or ‘minds before and after’. I think I like the last one best.

In a way I think everything done and said – heard and experienced – always will be. And never will be gone. Never. Waves of voices will never die. They will be less obvious and harder and harder to catch. But never obliterated.

-How exciting it would be to catch what Jesus really said, I have said to myself.

I look upon Jesus as a good person with a great kind of life philosophy. Not at all any God’s son! I would like to know more about what Thomas wrote about Jesus. His real words so to say.

-Sometime science will be able to find out how to catch ancient sound waves, I’m sure.

Interesting people fascinate me a lot. And I mean a lot! I like deep thoughts about life, living and our place in universe.

Some days ago I heard that intelligent people don’t want a lot of friends. Studies had been made that said:
People with fewer friends are more intelligent than people with a lot of friends.
I have been thinking about this.
Is it really true?

-I must found out … off I go to surf the net and what do I find …?

The study Abstract – The Washington Post about ”Why smart people are better off with fewer friends” – brightside.me about this – …

Interesting!

”Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” Albert Einstein

Power of Act by me.

Just a Rainy Day

It has been a rainy day. Kind of ”moody cello day”. I like that too. Keeping me cosy indoors. Ensure happenings of exciting things. I’m rather good at that. Actually. There are always new things to learn – languages – technique – universe – thinking higher – yes even higher than usually. And of course I have empty white papers wanting to be filled with colors and crazy motives. So new apps, ted talks on Netflix ….. and a lot of creativity in Crazy Art Studio Budapest.

spicy talks
happenings in worldwide cyber
tagged peppar mint

… and I want that book – I mentioned before – to breathe poetry …

ears leave
when music are played by fairies
catching up
as all senses float away
hypnotized by enchantments

… that special one … you know …
… and music …
… for rainy days.

Stage Curtain from Liszt Academy – edited #byblogfia (me in my Internet project).

Carpe Diem: #1107.
Symphony No. 1 by Giovanni Sgambati.

Very pleasant music for this kind of day and mood ….

https://youtu.be/r76xMtqceBU

Elixir of dawns

You are so shy. While looking down and around trying to find the right words. I watch you secretly from my lowered face. I’m waiting. Waiting breathlessly to hear you saying …

some day
I will let my heart speak
to yours
and tell about the island of
true everlastings – elixir of dawns

… wishing it to be in this very moment …

Carpe Diem: #1106 Symphony No. 11
The Winter by Joachim Raff.

A Quiet Watcher

This day – the day before Christmas Eve – we use(d) to call ”Little Christmas Eve”. We tasted the Christmas food. We were allowed to open one present. We had a really cosy evening. That’s how it was. Seems so long ago just now. I kept this tradition when I had my own family. We even celebrated once in a dry riverbed in the desert in United Arab Emirates. 1983 I think. Now is a different time. ”Yesterday is dead and gone” as Kris Kristoferson sings. My daughters doesn’t eat meat or celebrate Christmas. My son thinks otherwise. More like me.

circumstances
made christmas dead and gone
empty seats

Since I’m not a believer I don’t celebrate Christmas but I like some traditions. Like spending time together with my family. So I miss that now. Very much.

Some day I will bring my grandchildren to experience the Nutcracker in Budapest. Some day!
Today I went to an contemporary dance performance for children. It was just so very great!

air filled
bubbles of children’s emotions
cracking event

I can also go to church at special occasions – just to watch the rituals people are busy with. As behaviorist I’m very interested – all the time – in people’s behavior and everyday life wherever I am. I’m a quiet watcher.

But not ”quiet” about everyday life relating to politics. Consequences of bad politics I want to highlight. Sometimes also the good. I like to compare Sweden and Hungary as I think they are opposites in EU. I find it interesting to follow. Observe.

dedication
children’s welfare and schooling
my life

I think – maybe – it has been a lot about me personally lately. Sometimes it happens. And that’s ok for me – here.

I have had Bach in the background but tonight I’m afraid he didn’t engage me very much.

finally
a red heavy glass of wine
tasting your kiss
full bodied as usual
how lucky I am

Carpe Diem: #1105 Christmas Oratorio:
Cantata #1 BWV 248 – Mov. 1/9 by J.S. Bach.

I think this entry works better with:

Carpe Diem: Seven Days Before Christmas 2016 #7
Twas The Night Before Christmas.

I will make another for Bach 🙂

Another Kind of Candle

On my way home today. I walked towards the Cathedral and a poem popped up in my head. (I live just behind the church.)

not so long
way to the other side
of religion

I’m not religious as you know. But when I grew up everybody around me were. As child – visiting the church – I always thought the priests told lies. Couldn’t understand how people could believe what the priests said. I’m interested in facts – not what few people make up in their fantasy and then try to make it true for a mass.
Sure Jesus once lived and he probably had a very good hearted life philosophy.

It also happens with ”facts” in times. Thinking about when the earth was believed to be flat. So I wonder a lot about:

-What do we believe to be very true today – and tomorrow will be proved as wrong and seen as the madness of our time? Maybe about the climate? Maybe about our planet? Our place in Universe? I would very very much like to know …

free ticket
for a ride in the dark world
to turn on the light
covered waited in endless queue
while the button was set broken

Perhaps that one was too mysterious?

wise people
talking the speech of facts ‘n truth
my candles
as interesting people’s questions
provide imaginative power and fantasy

“We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.”
― Richard Dawkins

”Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Carpe Diem: Seven Days Before Christmas 2016 #5 candles.

Mother of All Pearls

Out in the crowd. Camera settings with blue filter. To light up my day. Thinking about killings and attacks. Sad but definitely not scarred or frightened. Thought that if I had that stupid, monstrous terrible brain … where would I place … I was sure of where. So I took the metro just to that place. It was the end station. Above is the Christmas Market. And I wasn’t the only one thinking … Three very well armed and equipped men stood steadily and watched us when we got out from the train. I asked very polite:

-May I shoot you?

So sorry I didn’t get that photo!
But I was lucky today. Bought myself a heart decorated ceramic cup for my green chai tea. I also found my dress. Now it needs a neckless. And I know what kind. A Native American style in black and a few silver pearls decorated with mother-of-pearl. Maybe I can make it myself.

nacre sunset
when shells are tumbling
in salted waves
showing up to each other
the most glory mother-of-pearl

I listen to the music and I can see the shells and the shiny ”mother of all pearls”.
Can you?

Carpe Diem: #1103.
Symphony in F sharp minor Op. 41 by Dora Pejacevic.

Faltering Steps

Trying to catch that special mood …

in the moonlight
with cane and faltering steps
cherry blossoms

… for writing poetry …

wondering
around in my own steps
or somebody else’s

… while listening to music …

sårade hjärtan
och flydda själar
byter plats

hurt hearts
and away fled souls
change places

… lots of lost hearts and lost souls in our world … to many indeed …
… with a war going on … mothers, fathers and children are losing their homes and many – far too many – their lives …

neither hurt hearts
should walk soldiers shoes
nor away fled souls
or soldiers
some tomorrow

Now I just have to choose one of the most beautiful songs about – NOT WAR.
Lars Winnerbäck sang when Dalai Lama visited Sweden 2011 and His Holiness personally thanked LW.

I will work more with the translation in English because it’s much more poetic in Swedish. But hopefully it gives an idea about the content.

Ingen Soldat av Lars Winnerbäck 2009
Lyrics;

Himlen faller ner,
det svider till där kniven skar,
jag har varit vaken hela natten,
känt om hjärtat sitter kvar,
känt om hjärtat sitter kvar.Jag har litat på imorgon
som en troende tror.
Jag skulle gjort så annorlunda
om jag gick i andra skor,
om jag gick i andra skor.

Jag är ingen soldat,
jag har inga vapen att ta till,
inga korståg jag vill gå,
ställ mig inte i ett led,
du får mig aldrig att stå still,
jag fungerar inte då,
jag är ingen soldat,
jag tänker inte så.

Jag har härjat krig i huset,
jag har härjat krig i mig,
mina ögonlock är tunga nu
snart drömmer jag om dig,
snart drömmer jag om dig.

Jag har aldrig stått vid fronten
eller försvarat det jag har.
Men i skärvorna och flagorna
ligger ändå allting kvar,
ligger allting ändå kvar

jag är ingen soldat,
har inga vapen att ta till,
inga korståg jag vill gå,
ställ mig inte i ett led,
du får mig aldrig att stå still,
jag fungerar inte då,
jag är ingen soldat,
jag tänker inte så.

I rispan från min vrede,
ska jag sätta jord och så,
i skuggan av din stolthet
ska jag resa mig och gå.

Jag är ingen soldat,
jag har inga vapen att ta till,
inga korståg jag vill gå,
ställ mig inte i ett led,
du får mig aldrig att stå still,
jag fungerar inte då.

jag är ingen soldat,
jag har inga vapen att ta till,
inga korståg jag vill gå,
ställ mig inte i ett led,
du får mig aldrig att stå still,
jag fungerar inte då,
jag är ingen soldat,
ingen soldat,
jag tänker inte så

Ingen Soldat av Lars Winnerbäck 2009
Lyrics;

The sky is falling down,
it hurts where the knife cuts,
I’ve been awake all night,
Felt wether my heart’s still there,
felt if the heart remains.I have trusted in tomorrow
as a believer believes.
I would have done so different
I was walking in other shoes,
I was walking in other shoes.

I’m not a soldier,
I have no weapons to take,
no crusade, I want to go,
set me not in a line,
you get me never to stand still,
I do not work like that,
I’m not a soldier,
I dont think that way.

I have ravaged war in the house,
I have ravaged war in me,
My eyelids are heavy now
Soon I will dream about you,
Soon I will dream about you.

I have never been at the front
or defended what I have.
But in shards and flakes
Everything is still left,
everything is still there

I’m not a soldier,
have no weapons to take,
no crusade, I want to go,
set me not in a line,
you get me never to stand still,
I do not function that way,
I’m not a soldier,
I don’t think like that.

In the scratch of my wrath,
I will put soil and plant,
in the shadow of your pride
I will get up and go.

I’m not a soldier,
I have no weapons to take,
no crusade, I want to go,
set me not in a line,
you get me never to stand still,
I do not work like that.

I’m not a soldier,
I have no weapons to take,
no crusade, I want to go,
set me not in a line,
you get me never to stand still,
I do not function then,
I’m not a soldier,
no soldier,
I don’t think that way.

Skrivpuff: Ärligt talat.

Skyller på julen att det blir lite märkliga inlägg – ärligt talat 😉

Some Wings

the temptation
at the chalk cliff top
I throw a rose

© Hamish Managua Gunn

Basho and I
share the same moon
and the same joy
of words about nature
I know – Basho taught me

© Hamish Managua Gunn

Oh my gosh! This will be too hard! I need that dragon fiery rod now indeed.

in dreams
stars are listening
you know

***

some wings
made a memorable
visit
bringing me to the world of
dragonflies

Well – now you will think I’m even more crazy – cause I feel I have a certain connection to dragonflies. They like me to photo shoot them. They perform for me. They follow me. I talk to them. Last session was when I visited the Tanja in south east Hungary in August. They were so funny! We were in the wine yard as you can see on top.
Left me with hundreds of photos. This one presented me to his/her fellow later.

Click on the picture!

Carpe Diem: Tokubetsudesu #92.
Hamish Managua Gunn’s ”the temptation”.

Ur led i Tiden

Dags att kolla Skrivpuff för dagens ord att skriva om. Jag surfar iväg i cyber. Bestämmer att det får bli en haibun.

S t i r r a
läser jag på skärmen
och stirrar
på datumet ovanför
himmel! tänker jag då

Ja så gick det faktiskt till! Jag har inte fattat att det redan är den 18 december. Juldagarna närma sig. Jag ska vara ensam i Bp. För andra året i rad. Det är ny ordning numera. Livet tar sina vändningar och då får man göra bästa möjliga. Så gott man kan. I år är jag mycket bättre på det och jag har just nu ”flow” i kreativiteten. Skriver och målar. Njuter under tiden. Däremellan är jag ute och fotograferar eller på olika kulturevenemang. Då njuter jag också.

lilla vän
det är kallt ute nu
innan julen

lilla vän
det blir inte bättre
med krig

lilla vän
en vilsen dag till
i morgon

världen
är alldeles ur led
i tiden

Låter nästan som ‘mellan hopp och förtvivlan’ där förtvivlan tar överhand. Det är i min lilla värld det finns hopp men i världen utanför handlar det om förtvivlan.
Förtvivlan inför människors oförmåga att kunna leva i fred med varandra. Det är så sorgligt. Ingen ändring i sikte heller.
Men snart är det nytt år!
Jag är säker på att det blir ett bättre …
Önskar …

Skrivpuff: Stirra.